Omission Statement

The world renowned Cordon Bleu cookery school...

2010-01-31T16:12:00.003Z

...uses comic sans in its course invites.

cordonzoom
Originally uploaded by Omission

MaîtreChef 2010

2010-01-27T17:21:00.003Z

Hello.

Welcome back to the daringly unredesigned Omission Statement. This blog lurches revenant-like from its digital grave to herald my 30th birthday, which would be utterly narcissistic, were it not for the protean brilliance of Mary's birthday present to me: a month-long Masterchef-themed gift centred around visits to both the Ritz-Escoffier and Cordon-Bleu culinary schools, here in Paris. I've been promised an invention test (this Saturday!), an ingredients-identification round (in French), an interview in which I have to justify my culinary zeal, and a final 3-course meal (which we have postponed until after our return to Switzerland and a normal-sized kitchen).

Before Saturday, a special Comic-Sans horrorpost!

Friday Music: Brel and Kia Ora

2008-05-30T20:34:00.003Z

Jacques Brel:

Astonishingly racist Kia Ora advert --- just for me and my dog:

Friday Music: Yeasayer does the Byrne style crazy dance

2008-05-23T08:54:00.002Z

Talking Headsalikes Yeasayer with their song 2080:

Music!

2008-05-02T10:35:00.002Z

Enchanted by the wonder that is emusic, I am on a bit of a music bender. We'll be at the Bad Bonn at the end of this month to see Cat Power, and then in July we will see both the Magnetic Fields and Bellowhead. I'm jealous of our friends in the US, though, because lots of my new discoveries float around the eastern seaboard without so much as a thought for mainland Europe.

The album you shoudl definitely listen to, NOW, is "For Emma, Forever Ago" By Bon Iver. Fortunately, you can do that online here.

Otherwise, here's St Vincent

and Black Moth Super Rainbow

I've got a film to show you...

2008-04-30T06:11:00.003Z

My vain, youtube-based attempt to reignite our local blogosphere...with liquid oxygen!

There and back again.

2007-09-24T21:20:00.000Z

So, we went to New York, and in so doing saw almost everyone who reads this blog. Including Tom's parents, to whom I say hi. Tom's grandma, who liked my shoes, probably has better things to do than read blogs, but in case someone can pass the message on, hi to her too.

As every good tourist in New York does, I spent most of my time in museums. Having said my piece to most of you about the MoMA (I loved Richard Serra, mostly, but alos the exhibition on the nature of painting), and the Guggenheim (where the permanent collection plays Uncle Monty to the temporary exhibition's Withnail), I then went on to the Met and the Natural History Museum. To the chagrin of Mrs O., the Met also has a stunning collection of modern art. But also lots of big old things. The American Museum of Natural History was the surprise hit for me, though. To understand how deep dinosaurs are engrained into my psyche, you need to hear the anecdote about my nine year old self giving an impromptu guided tour of the Natural History museum in London, picking up strangers on the way. This was a phase I thought had passed.

I was wrong. What I needed, though, was an adult museum for the child paleontologist in me. The top floor is a giant cladogram: a chart detailing evolutionary paths. Here's me standing in front of a small section of it:

Basically, if you have any level of (non-professional) interest in prehistoric life, you can indulge it here. Each taxonomic group has its own computer terminal where you can explore the development of each distinguishing feature. Sorry if I've gone on about it, but it made me wonder if I shouldn't have gone with that nine-year-old's gut feeling.

I also saw a model of Dunkleosteous:

On the way home we were upgraded to premium economy (which means that each time you ask for one drink, you get two, and that you get reasonable leg room), the moral of the story being, never underestimate the navy blazer.

When we got home, our luggage didn't; alway put your keys in the hand luggage, people.

Now I'm home, I hope to get Project Sakrileg off the ground; any badgering will be much appreciated. As a token of thanks to anyone having read so far along, here is a video I found linked from Graham Linehan's Blog:

2007-08-01T15:12:00.001Z

You get the impression they'd have like Jack Black to front this, but couldn't afford him. Fun nonetheless...

Earth Intruders

2007-07-31T08:38:00.000Z

Last week I went to my first festival: the Paleo in Nyon, near Geneva. This is what I have learned:

1) A man selling 500 dollar panama hats at a festival is unlikely to be doing much business
2) I look stupid in a typical British festival hat
3) Festivals in Europe are not like Glastonbury (at least, like my conception of Glastonbury). Case in point: at least five stalls selling distincty non-hippy-food in the form of Foie Gras.
4) Arcade Fire are amazing live: any band that has a pipe organ installed on stage is O.K. by me. (Look, you can see it just to the left of the hurdy gurdy!)

5) If there's a crowd three times as big as you expected to see the headline act, go around the side, because apparently your average festival goer only things in one dimension, which is "forward, grr, hn".

6) Bjork is also amazing live. And is secretly Spiderman

7) It is nigh-on impossible to sleep in a tent, wrapped in an emergency foil blanket, while Francophone amnesiacs play thumb pianos and yell all around you. Fact.

Is there something quite unusual about this man?

2007-06-27T22:00:00.000Z

Today's task: try to imagine this happening on a modern day TV channel. Possibly hosted by Dale Winton, with Gilbert and George as the guest...

And Mrs O, too

2007-06-27T18:49:00.000Z

Following the Herd

2007-06-27T10:23:00.001Z

The most ill-judged music video in history

2007-04-24T10:10:00.000Z

Update: I now recall that this is not the first time I've posted a video for this song.

Most disturbing. What I'd like to see now is mix of these two videos.

Or maybe, almost at the end of the first video, another "maybe there's another way" moment,
and then just start the second video.

Tumbleweed

2007-04-10T16:08:00.000Z

Sorry all has been quiet here of late; all the words my keyboard can muster have gone into finishing two papers. The second was submitted yesterday, and in time honoured tradition I now have a miserable cold and am unable to enjoy my freedom.

Many of my readers will have heard the following (perhaps more times than they would like, in one case) but this is my first experience of the original. At least, I assume the version I know hails from down Ealing way...

Ezra Pound reads Canto XLV

What I particularly love is the seamless transition from fire-and-brimstone hectoring to parish priest wittering as the canto ends and his commentary begins.

And just as it all seemed too highbrow:

New year, new things: Neuendingedämmrung

2007-02-21T16:32:00.000Z

OK, first things first: quite so that Tom suggested the Herr Flick dig, and I staunchly refuse to accept the bare-faced truth that the resemblance is more than passing. More of that in updates to the post below. Now back to our scheduled programme:

So, what's small, hairy and has eight legs?

Nope, not a bird-eating spider

(picture removed to spare the faint of heart
*looks in vague direction of Ealing*)

But these guyswho were proving quite difficult to photograph yesterday morning, and had to be coaxed into an area of light using a laser pointer. On the left, you can see Scrumpy, who is a miniature Schnauzer mix, and on the right Porter, who is a German Shepherd/Dachshund mix.

These are our dogs.

We've had them just over a week now, and they are providing us with headaches and smiles in equal proportions. They're both two-and-a-half years old, and we have taught them to sit. We have emphatically not been able to teach them to walk, dutifully, by their master and mistress, and some bugger clearly taught them how to dislocate the wrists of anyone foolish to hold their leads before we got to them.

Nevertheless, they are a welcome addition to the Omission family, and no doubt will feature in many of the forthcoming updates to this blog.

New Year, new stuff: third time's the charm

2007-02-21T09:21:00.000Z

New Hat:(also new gloves). Bought from the Red Cross around the corner for about a pound. Is soft felt on top, so at a moments notice can become a plausible bowler, in case I need to persaude the Swiss I am a London banker.

In a change to the advertised schedules, tomorrow will be the last in this series. Appearing will be the answer (well, an answer) to the following riddle: what is small, hairy, and has eight legs?

Meanwhile, I have a new hero:

Update: ~~By way of preemption~~ Before this goes any further , I look nothing like this in my new getup:
-- Herr Flick has, incidentally, really let himself go since the war.

Further update and actual preemption: Before someone launches germanswhowearhatslikerichards.blogspot.com, I am also trying to imitate neither scary plastinating Gunter von Hagens nor bonkers artist Joseph Beuys:

Besides, all these Germans are wearing Fedoras, whereas my hat is a homburg.

New year, new stuff: Secondary phase

2007-02-20T10:16:00.000Z

True to my word, here is another new thing I have:

This is my new camel leather manbag, which carries my important musings on the polytime completeness of soft linear set theory wheresoever I go. It does not, as feared by some, smell bad. It smells of nice leathery things.

In other news, last Friday was the Decemberists concert in Fribourg. My enjoyment was magnified by the presence of Sam Smiths Nut Brown Ale behind the bar: a more Decemberists drink this side of an absinthe and arsenic martini I can't imagine. The gig was great fun, and ended with a re-enactment of the foundation of Switzerland (sort of-- I don't remember chickens or the Ottoman empire having much to do with it). The band were obviously a bit worse for wear, and the gig had, in the words of Colin Meloy, "an odd flavor -- sort of like eating a lychee. It's difficult to peel, it tatstes odd, but you like it."

New Year, new stuff: Part the first.

2007-02-19T09:13:00.000Z

Well, I'm back from my extended jaunt hunting pheasant, and am now ready to rejoin the world of the digital passer-of-time. I thought I'd begin by making a record this week of the new things that have passed into my life since last we spoke. One a day. For the whole week.

One post per day. For a whole week.

Breathe...

So without further ado, I present Omission's Monday edition of Things I Now Possess That Make Me Happy: My new Global Vegetable Chopper:

If your only experience of knives had been this guy, your vocabulary would not include the phrase "like a hot knife through butter. It would instead contain "like a knife through onions" or "like a knife through the skin of a pumpkin" or "like a knife through my finger bones". Do yourself a favour. Get a really sharp knife.

Other nice knives I saw on my travels included Chloë' and Ed's new cheese knife, on which note and imperceptible segue, thanks to them for a lovely stay in London.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting installment!

Spem in Allium*

2006-11-30T14:35:00.000Z

Je suis Logicien, et je vais aller au Paris, afin d'assasiner la langue francaise.

Or something like that. I am giving a talk with the grand title "Towards Identity of Proofs, via Herbrand's Theorem". I haven't written any slides yet. Bum.

I have strong hopes of taking my friend and colleague Kai to Au Pied de Cochon tonight, as we will arrive in Paris after 10pm, and so won't be eating 'till 11ish. Plus, Kai is such a hardcore meat eater that he eats rare pork, and uses supermarket minced beef as steak tartare. He grew up in Dresden, and I think he was maybe part of some Cold War project to protect the population in case of biological warfare.

As to the punning title, last Monday was the Zibelemärit, or onion market. The people of the outerlying villages come to Bern and set up onion stalls, and then the population of Bern get up at 4 in the morning, and go out into the streets to drink beer and mulled wine, eat a traditional onion cake that's basically a quiche, and (in the case of children and youths) throw confetti at each other and hit each other with squeaky hammers.

I'm not joking.

We arrived at 6:15, and the streets of Bern were fuller than I had ever seen them. Of course, it was completely dark outside, so it could have been 10pm (except theat Bern's streets are empty at 10pm.) I bought some onoins and made french onion soup. Yum.

After Paris, I have Munich, and then Burton-on-Trent, then Southern California, then London, then home. I feel tired already.

*Hope in Garlic, Onions, etc

All the rage

2006-11-07T11:02:00.000Z

Bachelor boy...

2006-10-30T16:24:00.000Z

...well, not quite. But Mary is in the 'Bridge at the moment, getting her CELTA (Certificate of English Language Teaching to Adults), leaving me with all the downsides of singledom (sole dominion over issues such as cleaning, tidying, laundry) without the upsides (busy social whirl, venereal disease...). The situation has, however, allowed me to really get to grips with Crane Wife, The Decemberists' new album. I heartily recommend the heady mix of prog rock (The Island -- a 12 minute epic of Yes-style laser syth and allusions to The Tempest), Zepplin stomp (When the war came) and Talking-Heads-Groove (The Perfect Crime #2). And they're coming to Switzerland next February! All I have to do is ask Mary if I can go...see, none of the benefits of bachelorhood.

Additionally, I have been experimenting culinarily; I had my first try at cooking gnocchi recently, to great success, and also have been playing around with Jerusalem Artichokes. Tonight I'm going to stew beef with qunices and cinnamon. I hope it tastes nice, as I'll have enough for four or more portions...

In other news, I have been invited to Paris to give a talk at a workshop, which is exciting, but not as exciting as the 250 euros our host has allocated to me for meals while I'm there (for three nights).

Finally, since it's nearly Halloween:

Food update

2006-10-02T15:17:00.000Z

A couple of Fridays ago, we visited the Chästeilet; an annual festival where the farmers go into the mountains and divide up the year's cheese output, according to how much milk their cows produced. I bought a Kilo of some very nice Alpkaese, and is de rigeur on such occasions, I drank some beer and ate a sausage, as well as some raclette.

I discovered quinces at our local market, which as all good food luddites know may be made into a paste (called membrilla, and oft served with cheese). I have made some of said paste, and very good it is too (quite easy to make, to boot). It goes quite well with my Alpkaese, but would go better with some Manchego.

Passing through Paris on the way back from my England trip, I stopped off at one of Les Halle's crazier food equipment stores to get a Le Creuset Doufeu, which is just like a normal Le Creuset casserole, but you can put ice in the top and it starts self-basting. Made a great roast chicken/risotto thing in it, and also offset the slight gitty smugness factor of owning the thing by making an irish stew in it.

Holiday

2006-09-19T15:40:00.000Z

Holiday Pics 082
Originally uploaded by Omission.

Since I'm not really on holiday any more, I should post about my holiday. And then I won't have this great blog-dread hanging over me any more.

Thanks publicly to Adam and Elaine, who won the "first to visit Bern" prize of being repeatedly attacked by wasps, and with whom we spent many a happy hour in Bern and Paris. In Paris, I ate the fantastic "La Tentation de Saint Antoine" (pictured), which is a collection of random pig bits, fried, and served with Sauce Bernaise, which I suspect might have mollified the unrelenting fattiness of the dish. Still, it killed four random pig bits (cheek, tail, trotter and ear) with one stone.

In Brief: Rest of the Holiday:

The Drew Nuptials, which you all know about already;
Delays on the Cambridge-bound train;
Breakdown of the sleeper train, meaning that instead of waking up in Cornwall we had to get off the train in Plymouth and get on a coach for three and a half hours;
Wonderful St Ives, including Lobster (pictured) Seal watching, House of the Dead 4 (there really weren't this many last time) and Barbara Hepworth (art, not dead person);
Successful sleeper to London, and free visit to the First-class lounge in Paddington (very nice);
Missing Eurostar (misread tickets) and nearly having to pay 300 pounds for new tickets until the nice lady took pity on us (we still had to pay 80 pounds).

Phew. That's quite enough of that.

Hey man -- it's, like, Don and Walt

2006-07-25T20:06:00.000Z

Steely Dan go to Corpus Christi* and clearly get very bored.

*Not that Corpus.

Update: Owen Wilson rebuts.

Same as it ever was...

2006-07-23T21:21:00.000Z

With apologies for the hiatus: I trust you coped. I am now officially a doctor:

I now have a cheap little digital camera, so expect more photos.

I know my place though: you (that's Tom and Adam, mostly, I guess) expect me to bring childish ephemera to your attention. To whit, Kermit sings 'Once in a Lifetime'.

Zuton Fever

2006-06-08T10:04:00.000Z

I saw the Zutons on Tuesday, and I can highly, Highly, recommend them. Damn good music, and I haven't danced like a fool so much in ages. Can't say I appreciated their new stuff as much, but it might be that I just enjoyed the tracks I knew more. The club we saw them at (Fri-Son, in Fribourg) was a hilarious hole of a place, complete with a giant skull-shaped mirrorball.

Project Sakrileg is almost ready to go live, as I've nearly finished the prologue (this thing is much harder than I'd anticipated) but it'll have to wait until next week, as tonight I head off to Poland to see my brother. Since tomorrow is the start of the World Cup and Poland's first match (against Ecuador). I don't know what the best thing that can happen is, but wish me luck.

Derrida=Columbo

2006-05-30T20:38:00.000Z

That is all.

New tricks

2006-05-29T12:23:00.000Z

After finishing Gravity's Rainbow, I decided to set myself an even tougher task in ergodic fiction. Read about my progress at Project Sakrileg.

All the cool kids have two blogs now.

Vote for the Winner!

2006-05-20T22:14:00.000Z

Well, we did "vote for the winners", but Lithuainia didn't win.

Of course, I can't help but be happy about the winners, but remember Norway's entry from last year (which stirs up memories of Richard's leaving party)? Much more deserving of a win in my book.

Noel

2006-05-16T15:33:00.000Z

Someone foolishly mentioned Deal or no Deal, and I was going to "go off on one" about it, and how it's shit, but compelling, and then I remembered this article by Charlie Brooker , and I guess it says most of what I wanted to anyway.

`Every afternoon, Noel's basically taking part in an improvisational drama workshop in which he plays the hysterical id of a man arbitrarily flipping a series of coins.

`"Christ, I hope it comes up heads. If it doesn't come up heads we're in serious trouble. I do NOT want to see heads now. Not heads. Please God no ... IT'S TAILS! HOORAY! Well played! How skilful! OK, time to flip the next coin ..."'

I would pay good money to see someone take the first money offered and then play the "let's see what would have happened game for the rest of the forty minutes.

Jens Lekman

2006-05-16T15:17:00.000Z

Are you aware of him? Download some songs at

http://www.secretlycanadian.com/mp3/index.htm

I've been meaning to blog about him for some time, and then he was weirdly on MTV Germany. Like the Magnetic Fields, but perhaps less artful.

Speaking of MTV, I have become a big fan of Pimp my Ride, which is genius to begin with, but massively improved by German subtitles. I now know that the phrase to drop amongst "the kids" when attempting to express approval is "Das ist der Hammer!" As in "Den neuen CD von David Hasselhof? Das ist der Hammer!"

New digs

2006-05-05T10:29:00.000Z

We moved into our new place on Monday, and we've spent the last week acclimatising to our surroundings. The area is much more promising than our previous place; requisite bloggable landmarks in the vicinity include: organic butchers (which I shall visit tomorrow in the hopes of procuring calves liver for dinner), scary shack (sadly not scary church), several second hand/charity shops (items of furniture bought: 0, suits purchased:1; priorities clearly in order), a highly recommended cafe (which we haven't visited yet) and Big Ben's English theme pub (which we visited last night).

Big Ben's has some serious potential. It's an English pub in Switzerland, yet has more Belgian beers than English and Swiss put together. In fact, the choice of English beers (all served in cans) is woeful; this is where sinful readers of What's Brewing go when they die. However, the pub does have splendid genuine imported English decor (including flock wallpaper) and the best selection of pub books I have seen for a long time.

I'm bunking off work this afternoon to go to Bern's agricultural fair with Mary. This should prove more fun than it sounds, as amongst the threshing machines and cattle there should be copious wine tasting and such. It would have rounded up the day quite nicely if we could have got tickets to see the Alan Parson's Live Project, Jethro Tull and Barclay James Harvest (never heard of them -- should I have?), who are playing there tonight, but they were sold out. I have consoled myself by buying tickets for the Zutons next month.

My hovercraft is full of eels...

2006-04-25T09:39:00.000Z

Mary's ill at the moment, with a nasty cough, so, being the gentleman that I am, I checked in the dictionary for the word for cough. Husten. Unfortunately, my brain gets bored on the way and decides to play chinese whispers with itself, whereupon Husten becomes Hutten, then Hütten.

"Excuse me", I said to the pharmacist, "what do you have for cottages (Hütten)?"

"Pardon?"

"My wife watched (Hüttet). What do you have for her?"

Never mind. I started German lessons again yesterday. Everything will be fine...

Meltdown

2006-04-07T15:24:00.000Z

So, apparently the swiss obsession with matters nuclear is not not a fear that they will be maliciously blown up, but a more rational fear that some lazy nuclear physicist will accidentally blow them up. As a precaution, when I registered with the swiss government I was given a pack of potassium iodide pills, which I'm assured will save me from the worst of a fallout.

Those of you living in less cautious countries can purchase commercial potassium iodide (in the form of raspberry flavoured Thyroshield if you so wish) from the good people at nukepills.com

Are friends flexible?

2006-04-04T12:33:00.000Z

So, I've got my visa (so I can start my job properly), and so does Mary (so she can actually come and live here). Today I have to go and see the Fremdpolizei ("Stranger Police" -- stranger you say? stranger than what?) and register my presence. I'm sure it'll all be fine.

Apologies again for the bad sub-title pun (which is, it's a fair cop, the obvious one to make). I tried in vain to come up with a better one than Ealing Tragedy's, but failed. Any suggestions?

New Leaves

2006-04-03T12:03:00.000Z

Here endeth the time of piecemeal updates at sporadic intervals...

As the dreadful pun in the title of this organ should indicate, Bath Time is over. I feel strangely liberated -- the process of writing a thesis and having it examined took its toll on me. I find myself with time on my hands to do all the things that have escaped me over the past months, such as updating this blog frequently (which SpiritOfTheTin advises lest the Great Rambling One expunge me from his recommended reading for this semester). More monumentally in the world of achievements, I finally finished Gravity's Rainbow, the experience culminating in a mad dash for the finish spread over the entirety of Sunday.

So now I am inhabiting a weird, prison-like building in the south of Bern, photos of which I will attempt to provide shortly. Well, to be fair it's a pretty bourgeois prison, but it does have scary metal blinds, and a really disconcerting cellar. I'm sleeping on an air mattress, and cooking with only one frying pan. Life is odd.

Over

2006-03-19T10:37:00.000Z

Well, nearly. I had my viva on Friday. I passed, pending minor corrections. We've also found a flat in Bern, and all sorts of other exciting things, but my brain just wants to rest for a while.

By the way, Spiers and Boden were fantastic.

Spiers & Boden

2006-02-11T14:10:00.000Z

Very excited; we're seeing Spiers & Boden at our local theatre tonight. This is their first gig since winning best duo in the Radio 2 folk awards, so they should be in high spirits!

A challenge for Tom

2006-02-10T10:01:00.000Z

Do for the mandolin what this man does for the uke:more weeping guitar.

With added Wilberries goodness

2006-02-10T10:00:00.000Z

I've never really liked Prince before, but perhaps that's because no-one told me he was an Axe Man. (Apologies to Adam if he can't watch this at work.)

(First video is Prince, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, and George Harrison's son Dhani, playing "While my guitar gently weeps".)

Another trailer

2006-02-02T12:06:00.000Z

Back to the Future
, as you've never seen it before. (Via BoingBoing)

Peg

2006-01-15T10:45:00.000Z

Random supplementary trivia: I have tracked down the a portion of the De La Soul track that samples the Dan: here.

I'm yearnin' to be done with all this measuring of proof...

2006-01-15T10:35:00.000Z

Ugh. Proofreading.

Big news is, although everyone who's anyone already knows, we're moving to Switzerland. I'm hoping that once there I'll have the time to ressurect my culinary face-off with Tom, who in the meantime has been getting on quite well without me.

I'm confident that my move will profit well in this venture. If nothing else, the Illinois penal code is on my side; the 225 ILCS 635/ Illinois Horse Meat Act will stop Tom from muscling in on my equine dining (unless he has himself reclassified as an "exotic animal") , whereas in Switzerland I need only nip to the local supermarket, or indeed the local Pferdemetzgerei (horse meat butcher).

So many things...

2005-12-12T10:16:00.000Z

Hello all.

It's done. Well, a readable draft is done. Well, I say readable...

My thesis.

Chloe can maybe print a copy and give it to Ed (if Chloe has the time, which given the last time I saw her she had been at work until 2am the previous night may be doubtful), who has experience with lengthy dry texts on silly subjects.

Adam can mistake it for some concrete poetry.

Tom will have to wait until the 28th, whereupon I will descend on London with a copy, and we can both drink whisky and discuss how it's really, when you get down to it, a lot like Lit. Theory. And then fall over.

Will can... well, you get the idea. I don't expect anyone to read it. But have a look at it, if only to appreciate the size. And the pretty pictures. And the number of glaring grammatical errors that it will be my job to excise from the document in the coming weeks.

In those coming weeks (well, week) I will be absent from these Isles; I have a workshop in Dresden again (and another shot at that Cheese shop, plus the newly restored Frauenkirche), and after that in Bern (or Berne, if you'r feeling Germanic), where I have a job interview of sorts. Yes, I may well be joining the ranks of the expat. On the other hand, I've also applied for a job in Birmingham. Failing that, I suppose I could always reprise my guesting role as MC Kinley with the newly reformed Absinthe, although their new acoustic sound might not quite match my vocal stylings...

Either way, it seems likely that in the next few months I will be leaving Bath, and to that end, I would like to invite those in the country to a birthday shindig. Keep the 27th of January free, if you can. The plan is for much wine and cheese. Rest assured that if I leave the country on a (semi-)permanent basis I will also come to London for a hoohah.

That's enough about me. How are you?

The return of Mathcore

2005-12-08T22:45:00.000Z

In a continuation of my obsession with stupid music, I present proof theory --- an American grunge metal band.

Not to be confused with proof theory --- a thing I do...

Sufjan Stevens Christmas Album

2005-11-30T14:20:00.000Z

I think this will go down well; since tomorrow is the beginning of advent I feel fine posting it

Sufjan Stevens Christmas Albums (via Metafilter)

A disturbing tale

2005-11-16T20:50:00.000Z

If you haven't seen this, I won't spoil the genre meshing; Tom, this one's for you in particular...A halloween story

A History of Viggo

2005-11-06T19:23:00.000Z

Have you seen a History of Violence? I hope you have, and if not see it; it's very good.

However, This is Howard Shore's theme for the main character(Realplayer file, via Amazon). Does Mortensen insist on a flute theme?

Mariners; their Rimes and Revenge songs

2005-10-14T22:57:00.000Z

I've finally got around to listening to the Decemberists properly; while I initially agreed that they sound a bit nasal, in the end I was won over by such wonderful songs as "The Mariner's revenge song". Alas, not available online, but I do recommend 16 Military wives.

At 8 minutes, 33 seconds long, "The Mariner's revenge song" is the second longest song about Mariners that I know. This is the longest, courtesy of the Maiden, at 13 and a half minutes. This is a video of the live* version. That means that people went to a concert, and they played it. Including the creaking ship sound effects and the Coleridge voiceover.

In other maiden news, apparently They did follow him to India, regardless of how "tired by the combat, pain and the glory they were.

People less concerned with dubious metal; and more with the semantics of classical proof theory will be glad to hear that the thesis proceeds apace...

P.S. By the way, did we really miss the song about Dune?:

"He is the Kwizatz Haderach.
He is born of Caladan
And will take the Gom Jabbar"

*I don't mean a live video feed, but a video recording of a live performance. When Bruce Dickinson has to perform any works live on the net to support his fencing habit, we'll know he's fallen on hard times, but the Rime live 24 hours a day? That would be one desperate man.

The Shining

2005-09-29T22:16:00.000Z

As presented by Hollywood, today:
Shining Redux
(via Metafilter)

Ugh

2005-09-21T14:03:00.000Z

Photo-0057
Originally uploaded by Omission.

A void musical...

2005-09-20T20:52:00.000Z

I had a thought in't north, with Will, that a particular book of P*r*c's might form a good musical. Avoiding an obvious pitch would cast it in syzygy with said work's raison d'-- you know. Not that i know this work, but Tom and Richard say good things...

I don't know if any of you did try this at all , but it's bloody difficult.

Placeholder

2005-09-15T15:08:00.000Z

Tom has chastised me for keeping silent, so here is a cobbled together mid-thesis post:

Agony: Mrs. Omission brings home a notice she wrote for work and it was written in the forbidden typeface. I suitably chastised her.

Gypsy whimsy: Mrs. O. makes up for this with a great story about a gypsy who came to the door to try to sell "enchanted gyspy stones", which turned out to be marbles.

Organic goodness: Went to the Organic Food Festival in Bristol. Decided not to buy an Ox-tongue, purely because it was very hot that day and I doubted being able to get it home on time. Instead I bought lots of vegetables, including tomatillos (small green mexican tomatolike things of goodness).

Well, back to the grindstone. I should be able to post my progress so far in a couple of days --- I know how much you all enjoy reading my academic outpourings.

I am so Mathcore.

About typeface

2005-09-05T14:15:00.000Z

A subject close to lots of people's hearts, this:ban Comic Sans.

Mathrock!

2005-08-29T11:20:00.000Z

Clearly my blogging goes through some kind of cycle: even though there are exciting food-related things going on in my life at the moment, I feel much more inclined to talk about music:

First up though: I spent an excellent few days in Belfast, partly with Will and partly at a wedding. In particular, we spent a fine evening getting drunk and listening to the Rundgren. Belfast is a fine city, and home to the UK's finest coffee :Clement's.

But, onto music. First of all, a fantastic track by Tom Waits that can be downloaded
from the web: Step right up

Secondly, Tuva's premiere throat singing rock band, Yat Kha - listen to their cover of "LOve will tear us apart" and weep.

Thirdly, I have discovered the genre "Math rock", typified by odd time-signatures and dissonant harmonies. Don Caballero is math rock, apparently. It's all a bit shit, but I'm finding some gems. Not sure if I'll be drunk enough in the near future to try "Mathcore" though.

I might start referring to myself as Mathcore...

The world of writing up...

2005-08-18T14:00:00.000Z

...involves more Diagnosis Murder than you'd expect.

This episode, which I'm watching with one eye as we speak, costars Robert Vaughn, and has Patrick Macnee as a guest. Very odd...

Roquette/Rocket/arugala

2005-08-10T20:32:00.000Z

Waitrose are my supermarket of choice --- I know that sends certain people into spasms of antismugness, but it's an addiction I can't shake.

Nevertheless, they are very silly. They've taken to calling rocket "roquette", a doubly absurd affectation when you consider that rocket is an english salad with a very long history of being eaten in england.

This advert makes it all better. It's the one where people wave salad at each other and sing, and if you haven't seen it, do.

Burgermeister

2005-08-09T06:14:00.000Z

Sorry for the extended leave of absence --- I'm sure you've all managed to get by...

So, I AM the burgermeister. After visting the Port of Call in New Orleans, and having my burger rare, I couldn't not buy a mincer and make my own burgers. Armed with some braising steak from the farmer's market (aged to perfection), I rediscovered alchemy, turning meat that needs two hours to cook into a burger that took ten minutes, and was sublime.

I guess you had to be here.

Finished the talk

2005-07-16T07:43:00.000Z

Phew!

Now I just have to deliver it.

Arse.

Bem Vindo a Omission Statement

2005-07-15T22:37:00.000Z

Ah yes. The only Portuguese I know, and I learned that that from Nando's. Sorry for the lack of posts, and I promise a full series of cruise and Nworlins posts forthwith, but at the moment I'm more concerned with my current situation; I'm in Lisbon, I'm giving a talk tomorrow at 11;15, AND IT ISN'T FINISHED YET (sometimes accidentally pressing caps lock is just so right...)

Fuuuuuck.

I'm too tired - still suffering from jet lag, as my return from the states was delayed by two days. That also accounts for why I didn't plan this talk days ago.

Aaaarse.

They say Lisbon is easy to fall in love with. That remains to be seen. What I do know is that I had a very nice grilled Dorade and a couple of beers for dinner, and that espresso is ridiclously cheap. In fact, at my hotel it's free.

I'm going to bed, so I can get up early and finish the talk. Wish me luck...

New Orleans and the cruise experience

2005-07-04T03:49:00.000Z

Hi folks

Quick post now - I'm using precious access time. I will compose other posts offline and upload them later.

Chicago with Tom was a blast - the conference less so.

Louisiana is, Tom, hotter and more humid than Chicago. I ate much gumbo, and also
a fine pig's tail and cabbage (of which more later).

Cruise is made entirely of cheese. Crazy crazy. Of which more later.

Peace out people. Be excellent to each other.

Snack time

2005-06-26T20:38:00.000Z

Conference food is variable. At snacktimes, doubly so. Sometimes it's just complimentary biscuits and coffee, and other times there's fruit too.

Typically, America is different. They like to give people food, as Tom observed today "to assuage the guilt of the low wages" --- I paraphrase.

A trolley has arrives, containing packets of crisps, and M&Ms, and kit-kats, and skittles, and starbursts for the love of god, and two big ice-and-soda-bottle-filled trays, and tray of cookies and brownies, and now the food lady has gone, I can only think she's gone to get pizza, or a fatted calf. Made of candy.

I, on the other hand, had mutton biryani and smoked brisket inna bun for lunch. Very nice.

Pimms taskforce

2005-06-26T15:33:00.000Z

We have arrived in Chicago, and I speak to you from the conference venue's very generously provided wireless internet connection. Even more generous ha been Tom, who cooked a great vegetable lasagne for us last night. Lunch today is going to be courtesy of the Taste of Chicago festival I'll speak more of this after lunch.

On Homophony and other such things

2005-06-24T17:27:00.000Z

This is a fun game, suggested by Harry, and one round has been played by Will and won by Chrispin.

(Now, bear in mind that this game is too easy when played with New Zealanders, who only have one vowel.)

The game can also be played with Californians, and indeed when one is married to a So-Cal girl it is less of a game and more of a bothersome inevitability.

However:
1) A girl's name
2) a verb, meaning to join
3) an adjective, meaning happy and often applied to holidays and widows.

I'm leaving the country tomorrow, but fear not, for I shall have internet access, and I will probably post more frequently. My first port of call is the Windy City. I'm not sure what is is that winds so much, perhaps it's the streets. I do know that it's de rigeur to ramble whilst there, which klends support to my hypothesis.

The Best Lionel --- punditry

2005-06-09T07:40:00.000Z

I have been encouraged, nay, exhorted, to pick a side in The Best Lionel survey. I'm faced with a quandry. You see, Chris really was my favourite Morris, but My Favourite Lionel is Blue, (most definitely not the UK's first openly gay rabbit). He's not on the list.

So, reluctantly, I say "Vote L-Train!"

Separated at birth?

2005-06-09T07:07:00.000Z

Not wishing to trivialise a major news story of last week, but...

Deep Throat, aka Mark Felt

Max Zorin, aka Christoper Walken
Of course, if they were separated at birth, Walken would have also been frozen,
to account for the age gap...

Chippenham Folk Festival and offal burgers.

2005-06-01T14:05:00.000Z

Made it to the last day of a local Folk festival
on Monday, and didn't have time to mention it until now. Having voted for my favourite Morris in spiritofthetin's survey, It was fun to see a parade of local morris men, but I think my vote of "Chris" was the correct one.

The music was fun --- the stalls less so. With the exception of a great musical instruments tent (replete with drums and electric fiddles) and a leather stall, where I bought myself a money sack (in the spirit of "here is a purse of monies, which I am not going to give to you"), everything was new-agey crystals and second hand hippy-garb. Is this in general true? Will I have to put up with this claptrap when all I want is a foaming flagon of nut brown ale, a rustic foodstuff, and a browse of the merkin stall?

One final plus, which brings me comforatbly out of this extended foray into music blogging and back to more familiar epicurian territory. I had a burger from a local fast food institution, and the burgers contained "17% beef hearts". Heart burgers and Nando's infamous Bucket O' Liver suggest to me that fast offal is a growth industry. Invest now!

Deeeeeead! dead dead dead dead dead!

2005-06-01T13:45:00.000Z

Last.fm just played "The man who went hunting" from Shock Headed Peter for me. Superb.

I am stuck in my miserable office, typesetting model answers for ungrateful, rude, miserable underachievers. Grrrr....

Omission101 @ Last.FM

2005-05-30T11:56:00.000Z

Presenting Radio Omission.

Last.Fm learns what songs you like, and plays you songs from the playlists of people with similar tastes. I stumbled upon it looking for the Decemberists (it's played several of their tracks for me, and they are great, Tom).

I have discovered a band called "Architecture in Helsinki" that I think I could grow to like. Similar sounds to some of the poppier Stephin Merritt.

In case anyone missed this

2005-05-29T13:18:00.000Z

League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse - not a trailer, but a five minute piece of the film.

2005-05-27T19:59:00.000Z

And the results of Liam Gallagher's attempts to grow his sideburns so they meet under his chin? Close, but no cigar.

2005-05-27T19:55:00.000Z

Backstreet's back. Alright? Well, no.

2005-05-27T19:49:00.000Z

Um, Charlotte Church. Wasn't bad. Disturbingly, she reminded me of Tina Turner.

2005-05-27T19:45:00.000Z

And the Black Eyed Peas. They're not bad.

2005-05-27T19:43:00.000Z

Enjoyed the Kaiser Chiefs. They were quite good.

Omission on pop. Oh Yes

2005-05-27T19:38:00.000Z

In lieu of the Eurovisionfest, here are my pronouncements on Top of the Pops.

As we boogied away last week, who knew that
Yes are cool again. Eh?
Very odd to see a whole band pretend to play "Owner of lonely heart.". I wonder if they do Journey to the centre of the Earth as an encore?

Success!

2005-05-24T12:53:00.000Z

Those following my academic career will no doubt be glad to know that, after two sucessive failures, my paper has finally been accepted at a workshop. So now I'm going to Lisbon. Hurrah.

Mostly, it's been lovely to see people I haven't seen for a long time over the last couple of weeks. Hello. However, I would like to point out (particularly to those of an simian disposition that there has not been, for some time, a culinary post on this blog. And the last time I did mention food, it was to a) Invite people to partake, b)a comment on how long it took, and c) very much in passing. I resent the insinuation that I'm a one trick pony.

So there.

Eurovision semi finale

2005-05-19T20:34:00.000Z

Watching now. It's the Irish entry. They want to win like they want nuclear waste.

Norway rock! Wig wag sound like not only the nineties but also the eighties never happened.

Eurovision preview

2005-05-19T17:25:00.000Z

Saturday night is eurovision. Since a certain big player on the international stage is probably sick of Europe by now, I'm taking the precaution of videoing the big night so I can enjoy it at leisure.

Seriously poor rhyme seems to be the order of the day: Bulgaria's Kaffe can "still remember Lorraine in the rain", and I can do no better than reproduce the first verse of Nuno Resende's "Le grande soir":

Ce soir, tous ces regards
Là dans le noir
La peur et l’espoir
Ce soir, il n’est pas trop tard
de croire
Aux rêves de gloire
Ce soir, une lumière, dans un éclair, changer d’histoire

Very powerful, I'm sure you'll agree. The use of "avoir" in the third verse is in particular touching.

Bosnia and Herzegovina (hereafter B&H) have gone all meta- on us, with a song about Eurovision. Quite how they portray that on stage should be a treat.

Finland's Geir Rönning is a champion of the amateur philosoph, bellowing "Why?" and asking "Will we ever find the answer?" He isn't too aloof, however, to end the first thee lines of his song with, repectively, "burning", "yearning" and "returning". Perhaps the question he is considering is "What does Boris from Croatia mean when he says 'I am like leaves carried by the wind
Wolves die alone'?"

"My persistence is outrageous
You'll be mine cause I'm contagious" - That's Cypriot men for you...

Greece answers "You're delicious
So capricious
If I find out you don’t want me I'll be vicious" Gosh. So they'll
be giving each other the full twelve points then.

My favourite so far is Austria, who sing a trumpet filled song about a girl from cuba who falls for a yodelling austrian.

Boris is the law!

2005-05-06T12:41:00.000Z

According to Fox News, Boris Johnson is a "Conservative lawmaker".

Can someone name me a law that good old Boris has made?

Quis exterminet ipsos extermines

2005-04-30T18:48:00.000Z

Or something like that.

So, the Dalek epsisode that Terry nation's estate didn't want. Well, the one they wanted lots of money for.

Brill. Fantastic.

Somehow one dalek is seriously scarier than lots. You believed it could have killed everyone on earth. Or I did. And finally we find out what all those balls on the lower portions of a dalek are for.

When he loses the election, I bet he blames it on the gypsies

2005-04-29T07:31:00.000Z

My favourite bit: Michael Howard is asked how he can place limits on immigration when Scotland wants economic migrants. He replies that yes, he's aware of that and that the problem is caused by young people leaving Scotland because Engalnd and Wales are more prosperous. He then caimed that this was because of the large amount of immigration in England and Wales.

So wait. England is prosperous because of immigrants. Immigrants that Howard wants to limit.

Uh?

Eminem vs. Tv themes

2005-04-26T19:35:00.000Z

Genius,
if only for the bit where they do The Bill (which, unlike the other themes, is in 7/4, yet is seamless).

A moving message

2005-04-26T10:01:00.000Z

We're probably moving. Apologies to anyone who'll miss our spooky cellar and big living room, but we're tired of playing at the 1930s. And our landlady has gone gaga - apparently it's outrageous to expect hot water in the kitchen, or electricians who take less than two weeks to wire in your hot water boiler. Mental.

It's not listed (as far as I'm aware), and doesn't have a cellar, but our new flat used to be a fish and chip shop*. Oh yes, and it has hot running water in the kitchen. Come and visit, and I'll cook you fish and chips. And I promise it won't take three hours like it did last time.

*No actual equipment left, but the counter's still there, giving the flat a trendy kitchen bar.

Morris

2005-04-26T09:39:00.001Z

I should come out and say that, much like Tom, I have been watching lots of Morris recently; I should make it clear that I was not berating but congratulating him when I noticed his use of the phrase "a special gun" in an earlier post.

I haven't shelled out for the Day Today yet, so I have to make do with Jam and Brasseye. The shows are clearly brilliant. But the special feature on Jam deserve mention. This is but one of many.

If you select "Play All", unlike on most DVDs you are given three choices:

Play all once: what you'd expect;
Play all at once: the first frames of the six episodes all appear on screen, followed by a big red "WHY?", to the old Thames TV ident tune;
Forced viewing: plays all the episodes back to back forever until you eject the DVD.

Bizarre. Made me slightly queasy and scared, like when I first found tragibutes (now sadly gone) or the Blue Jam
site.

Missing: presumed playing GTA

2005-04-20T20:57:00.000Z

Regular readers will know that the user known as "uberpause", real name Christobald Ketch, has contributed much in the way of comments and well wishes on this blog.

Following a mysterious message on his blog, Chris has been uncontactable. The only clue was a message I recieved via encrypted email this evening: it contained only this photo:

Who is this girl? Is it perhaps his boyservant Pip dressed as a lady? Can you help? Have you seen them?

Thank you. And please, don't have nightmares.

All quiet on the blogging front

2005-04-14T18:10:00.000Z

Apparently it isn't the done thing to update one's blog at the moment; I shall fly in the face of fashion.

Tomorrow we head off to Paris for our wedding anniversary: it's a little late to ask for recommendations, but tell me where we should have gone.

Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

2005-04-09T09:07:00.000Z

Ok, so I've seen this in a few places but you might have missed it. It's a touching song about the best country in the world.

Corned beef hash

2005-04-06T20:50:00.000Z

Well worth waiting for.

Mmmmmmmmm.....

The cure

2005-04-06T12:22:00.000Z

Corned beef was boiled and eaten yesterday - for those who don't know Irish/american corned beef is a world apart from the cheap Argentine mush we get over here. Tom is right when he says that this beautiful and thrifty dish is sublime, and I'm looking forward to his corned beef hash recipe.

In filmic news, I have eschewed the lure of mainstream twice this week, taking in Pieces of April (music by the god-like Stephin Merritt) and the achingly-long but visually stunning Il Gattopardo . Both recommended,
but for god's sake watch Il Gattopardo on a lazy sunday afternoon, and not at night when your wife is liable to fall asleep or complain all the way through the last half an hour.

Also, I have a new website.

Bellow!

2005-04-01T20:02:00.000Z

In light of the previous post's comment, I shy away from mentioning the folk in this blog, for fear of rousing the anger of that notorious Chicago hitman, the "Filleter"; the nexus of fiddles and offal being his niche.

However, today's events must not pass without comment. I promise not to mention graphic novels or the pope.

My evening's amusements (I downloaded the demo of Half-life 2, which is frankly scary in both technical aspects and atmosphere) were interrupted by a red haired lass whose aquaintance I had never made. She introduced herself as the manager of Bellowhead, and announced that since she only lived at No. 1 on my street, she thought she'd pop the Bellowhead E.P. I'd ordered around herself and refund me the £1.50 postage I'd paid.

Now *that's* customer service.

Adventures in the culinary arts

2005-03-30T22:19:00.000Z

I'd say I don't want this to turn into a culinary blog, but I'd be lying. Especially if every day is as crazy and good as today...

So, ok, my breakfast wasn't crazy (although it was toast made from bread from
Hobbs House Bakery). And my lunch
was from Cafe Nero (they do the best readily-available italian sandwiches I am aware of in the UK. Parma ham and marscapone. mmmmm).

so, to the evening. My vegetable box arrived this morning, with my long awaited purple sprouting broccoli. Steamed and eaten with butter the moment I got home.

Better yet, I am currently corning my brisket and (in an unplanned double induction to curing) baconing my first pork belly (they were on offer, as they often are, at Waitrose). It'll be a good five days until I know if it's a success.

But my biggest surprise yet today - a tray of squid that Mary bought while I was at work - heads and guts and all. Pan-fried for all of a minute with olive oil, parsley and lime (a la Nigel Slater). Gosh

The easter bunny

2005-03-29T18:40:00.000Z

Lately, I've been exploring the wonders of Bath farmers' market. The week before easter I bought a fantastic leg of organic lamb (at a fantastic price), and from it we ate roast lamb and some wonderful shepherd's pie.

For easter, since we had already explored the lamb angle, we decided to buy a rabbit. The cooking of the rabbit stew was a slight mishap (rabbit *does*, as people warn you, have a tendency to be dry, although it was very tasty), but the prize of the deal was that the rabbit came with heart, liver and kidneys attached. Eaten this evening pan-fried with a leafy salad. Delicious!

Die Aussparung auf Deutschland, Kapitel 1: Aussparung ist unheimlich Dummkopf

2005-02-21T13:09:00.000Z

So, I am in Dresden, on a workshop whose aim is to banish bureacracy in proof theory.

This has largely been an excercise in me humiliating myself with poorly remembered german, until mid-morning, when the actual academic stuff began.

So far Dresden is not the hole I was led to believe it was (it is, for example, infinitely preferable from an architectural point of view to Turku, Finland), but my experience food-wise has been variable. I did find a shop selling organic bratwurst(also blutwurst), so only best before dates and prudence can limit how much of that I bring back. Canteen food is, naturally, dreadful.

But one of my hosts handed me a tourist leaflet containing the only thing you'll ever need to know, gastronomically, about Saxony.

I give you Pfund's Molkerei, *the world's largest cheese shop*.

www.pfunds.de/sprachen/eng/eng_index.html

Bis Bald,

Aussparung (Omission)

When Lions Roared ; Grrrr!

2005-02-09T16:39:00.000Z

Out shopping yesterday with Mary, I picked up two absolute bargains at an aptly named bargain book store. Except they weren't books.

First off, I picked up a video of Coogan's Run, for the princely sum of £1.49. Secondly, a copy of Then There Were Giants ( otherwise known as World War II: When Lions Roared (1994) (TV)). This bemused me from the beginning. Which is least likely:

Michael Caine .... Joseph Stalin
Bob Hoskins .... Winston Churchill
John Lithgow .... Franklin Delano Roosevelt

I'll post about it again when I've actually watched it...

My paper

2005-01-18T15:04:00.000Z

My first academic paper; wow.

Obscure vault - yuk! (7)

2005-01-16T22:58:00.000Z

Slightly Telegraph in tone, but I thought my readership would enjoy: From Our Own Correspondent: Why cryptic crosswords are civilisation.

Weston Hypermare

2005-01-07T12:09:00.000Z

I strongly recommend that you listen to Nebulous,
starring Mark Gatiss - 'tis very funny.

Russian mistranslation redux

2005-01-05T14:20:00.000Z

Since a certain Mr Perrin enjoyed the last installment so much, I shall recount my other tale of mistranslation:

In the days before Babelfish, the Russians attempted to build a computer program to translate American engineering papers. Their attempt foundered, since the system systematically rendered "Hydraulic Ram" as "Water Sheep".

Creme de la Mer - Straight to Pseud's Corner!

2004-12-17T14:29:00.000Z

I've been meaning to post this for a while - 1Oz of this might cost more than $100, but how much of that money goes to the guy who wrote the marketing blurb?

Neiman Marcus Online - by, I suspect, the same out of work child of priviledge who writes the Sainsbury's taste the Difference blurb.

No doubt the Nasa scientist was indeed aware of the "ancient process of fermentation".